Wednesday, 6 August 2014

An anti-climax 2 years in the making

..or is it a sign of things to come? The whole Lucid dreaming thing grabbed me late in 2012 and refused to let go. For months and months instead of rolling over and going back to sleep I forced myself from my pit and scribbled the night-time hours away pouring the contents of my subconscious images into a pile of ever-expanding loose-leaf sheets of A4. Painfully detailed descriptions of sights, smells, sounds and emotions have been at first handwritten and then earlier this year digitised in the form of an online folder full of searchable dreams.

The aim was to one day be not only aware that I was dreaming but to be able to control it while it was still happening. I was skeptical at first, thinking 'surely that can't be possible' - isn't the art of dreaming akin to watching a pre-recorded video of the previous day's events? Isn't it your brain processing and sorting out memories from various incidents in your past and deciding what to keep and what to forget?

Be as it may, the day finally arrived in late July when I just happened to be being chased by zombies (I gave up watching the Walking Dead several months ago when they just wouldn't leave that blasted farm - "Get on with it already!"). The part of me that sees logic and reason in things kicked in and I suddenly stopped and said to myself "Hold on, there's no such things as zombies, this scene is make-believe.

You sir, are dreaming".

After the initial excitement from realising my goal had finally been reached I was left with the feeling that you get when you finally get to the end of a really good long book that you've been looking forward to finishing, but now you have nothing to read and the story is over. The lack of imagination on my part left me standing in a room scratching my head and wondering what the hell to do. "The world's your oyster" I was thinking, "You can do anything you want, so what's it to be?". The answer was a shrug of the shoulders and mild disappointment as I couldn't think of anything.

In the end I did think of something that would be impossible to do in a few seconds when I woke up and joined real life, and as I just happened to be stood by a 10th floor window I thought the greatest thing to do would be to jump out of it. I've had dreams of flying before but of course this one was different as it was my own decision to become airborne, not as the result of some 'pre-arranged video recording'. The feeling was exhilarating as I soared through the air but unfortunately it was over just as quick as it had begun. I was awake and already putting pen to paper.

A few days later I had another realisation that I was, in fact, asleep in my bed rather than standing at a Formula 1 circuit with my Dad. I couldn't think of anything to do this time either so I asked my Dad and he suggested I fix his broken television with my mind. There weren't any other ideas on the table at the time so Hey Presto, with a blink of my eyes and the click of my fingers I fixed my father's TV.

You're welcome, Dad. Glad to have been of service after 2 years of training.

Of course I shall continue to document things and hopefully develop to the stage where I can actually think of something interesting to do, albeit simple tasks. It was in fact pointed out to me by a colleague when I mentioned the second occurrence that " were at a Formula 1 race circuit and you couldn't think of anything out of the ordinary to do? With multi-million-dollar cars flying past you at high speed and there being only 24 people in the world at any one time who can drive them, you were stuck for ideas?"

It's funny how the mind works really, isn't it?