Wednesday, 16 April 2014

A new telephone leads to advanced nocturnal scientific research

Number of times the word "interesting" appears in this post: 5

As with most casual bloggers, the first post in months usually begins with 'It's been a while since the last update but...' and the reason for me would be that honestly nothing interesting has happened since then. OK a few things here and there, and some stuff that would never be mentioned to Joe Public, but things have taken a rather interesting turn of late.

It all began with the careless handling of my beloved smartphone which led to a high-velocity hard impact involving concrete and the eruption of some rude words. The result was a large crack which greatly affected the touch-screen buttons and over a few weeks the crack got worse to the point where the device developed a mind of its own. Simply wishing to view the weather forecast or plan a bus journey resulted in me being presented with the football scores or being told how much money I have in the bank. All was not lost however, as by asking what time the number 85 bus was due told me I had some extra cash lying around, I decided to upgrade and purchase a replacement. Best thing I've done so far this year.

I'm not going to go on about the wonderful features of this new mobile (and they truly are wonderful); you can read up on it yourself by searching 'Nexus 5' if you're interested.

So, equipped with a fully-working mobile device, the older cracked model has been relegated to the 'just-about-works-but-not-sure-what-to-use-it-for' pile. I've thought about home security surveillance, a sandbox for testing rootkits, the usual pollava, but have settled on making it a dedicated nocturnal recording device.

I've been writing my dreams down for just over a year now. At first it was every few weeks between really vivid detailed sessions, but in the last few months I've been having on average one detailed dream every couple of days. By detailed I mean anywhere between 2 and 8 sides of A4 paper (and sometimes a sore hand from writing). They vary in content anywhere from explainable memories of the past few days involving people close to me, to the most bizarre and at times disturbing construction of incredibly random scenes. They're at times very personal and involve real people so they won't be featuring too heavily on this website, but I may put an abridged collection up some time in the future.

What's been playing on my mind lately is the question of what does a dreamer look (or sound) like to the casual observer? You see on television where people are locked up in dark rooms with night-vision cameras and sensors stuck to their heads, recording all kinds of interesting statistics. Alas, my technology does not cater for such a setup so I'm left with a recording device which is enabled when my head hits the pillow and disabled when I get up for my morning smoke.

There's only been 2 sessions so far and each of those has yielded results - on day one (or night, technically) I discovered that the sounds of my snoring range from something resembling a submarine's radar ping, to the clicking sound that the Predator makes in the 1988 Arnold Schwarzenegger film, shortly before it picks off its latest victim.

Day two was a good one - the dream involved me falling to my death in an elevator, upside-down, backwards and head-first (I mentioned that the content of these subconscious memories were rather peculiar, right?). Before I hit the ground I was jolted awake. After playing back the recording at the point where I was having the dream, I was expecting to hear maybe a grunt or some shuffling - and heard absolutely nothing. No breathing, no snoring, no grunts. This was slightly disappointing at first, then I got to thinking. If I wasn't breathing (or was not breathing enough), then maybe some part of the subconscious was thinking 'Hangon, we've got a problem here of lack of oxygen, we need to wake this guy up'.

Or I could be barking up completely the wrong tree, but it's certainly proving to be an interesting project which should yield some intriguing results.